Purple Angel Wing Heart

all i want for 2022

all i want for 2022

Hi babes!

2021, for me, involved a lot of hope, fangirling, nerves and chutzpah, all of which culminated in me getting the most crystals out of everyone in my group at the Crystal Maze Experience. Now it’s 2022, which on paper feels like 2021 with flying cars and chrome. I wonder how much is going to change from then, especially now that Omicron’s spread has transpired to almost be as if the vaccine never happened.

I’m gonna be a bit self-absorbed here and talk about what the next 360 days of 2022/my Jupiter return will hopefully bring for me.

  • Striving for justice. Going back to Trans Pride. Being vocal. Standing in solidarity with marginalised groups that I’m not a part of (e.g. people of colour, sex workers) without taking up space. Practicing sustainability without classism or fatphobia.
  • Gaining some more in-house work experience. I’ve got a major interview for an editorial assistant position next week, which I’m really looking forward to and have spent this week practicing for. If it’s not my destiny to get that position, then obviously something better will happen, possibly as a junior journalist or similar. I just have to know my worth and hope that the position pays London Living Wage or above.
  • Wondering if Love™ is really for me. My two closest friends both came out to me as homoromantic aces within months of each other, and it added a ton of fuel to the fire that’s been inside my head for the past three years of “am I on the aroace spectrum or am I just bi with rejection sensitive dysphoria and an overwhelming obsession with my special interests?”
  • Properly learning how to do motion graphics so I can start my own street style TikTok and become the 2020s version of the Sartorialist. Or, at the very least, the 2020s version of the Cobrasnake.
  • More freelancing opportunities to go alongside the in-house work. I just need to think of what to write and where to pitch it to. Again, my RSD plays up and I’ll feel like “there’s only so many articles you can do about this topic or this artist”. I think I might need to take a tip or two from Joey and Ayla, whether that’s just by looking at their portfolios or actually asking them for advice.
  • Making another zine of my own. Don’t Overthink It was a massive baby step, completed in that early-pandemic period where I became a tortoise hiding in my shell. but now I need to go into my DIY era where I suck on lollipops (cherry flavour, of course) and constantly roll my eyes while Decepticon by Le Tigre plays on a loop.
  • Trying my hand at fiction writing. Maybe even script writing? If I could just be responsible for a bestseller and/or a Channel 4 sitcom in my lifetime, then I’d die happy.
  • Appearing on a game show. I was very close to going on Moneybags and had to cancel my invite to the 1% Club, both of which seemed to be dodged bullets. Millionaire is probably my best bet, and I’ve applied for that, but I’m willing to do Beat the Chasers or Catchphrase or The Wheel or something totally new that’ll rock my socks off before getting axed after one series.
  • Winning so much money on said game show that I finesse my way into going on the Mortgage Guarantee Scheme. Pipe dream, but I’m a bit of a master manifestor. If all else (i.e. Help to Buy) fails, me and Mum will do a successful houseswap and my room will become my sanctuary and everything will be gorgeous and there’ll be a canopy on my bed like I’m a seven-year-old who wants to be a princess when she grows up.
  • Shedding all my pandemic weight. I’d honestly be fine with being a size 16 again, but if I lose so much weight that I have no choice to go to Lithuania and begin my bimboification, then so be it. It’d be very ORLAN of me.
  • Going full Geri Halliwell c. 1997 on my hair. I know the “two bleach streaks in the front” look is a bit passé (it’s been over a year, maybe even two, since Dua Lipa brought it to the fore), but pair it with my favourite Schwarzkopf box dye (which, in its current form, has turned me into a fat Sharon Osbourne) and it’ll make me look spunky.
  • Getting a tattoo and/or piercing. I’ve been hoping to take the body-mod plunge for a while now but, aside from yer standard childhood ear-piercing, I’ve been essentially priced out of looking like a glamorous bull with a Hello Kitty obsession. There’s this really cool parlour in Colchester which is queer and autistic owned, has a TV, caters to my 00s magical girl aesthetic and is home to axolotls! That being said, it is in Colchester…
  • Buying more earrings. There’s only enough times that people can marvel at orange Fanta bottles dangling from my lobes.
  • Seeing the Masked Singer again. Hopefully for the final. Even more hopefully a repeat of when me and my friends all died on the spot when we realised that we were in front of Gloria Hunniford. (Dancer depends on whether it’s a physical audience or not.)
  • Trying out a few more escape rooms. Crystal Maze was fun, but almost all the toilets had broken down and money-wise, it’s a bit of a rip-off. Breakin’ is probably the biggest name in escape rooms here in London (I need to do the Pirates of the Caribbean one!), but Archimedes Inspiration is like 10min away from my house (if that), so I’ll definitely try that one out.
  • Most importantly, continuing to cover the world with fairy dust. 💖

Heaven knows how 2022 will pan out, but hopefully I’ll have ticked off at least five of these boxes by New Year’s Eve. Every year, I manage to accomplish something and think little-to-nothing of it, so I’m constantly striving to come to terms with the fact that I’m on my own path, and so is everyone else.



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