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man up 2022: heat seven

man up 2022: heat seven

Hi ya!

Let me get the bad news over and done with. Regretfully, due to scheduling problems, I won’t be shooting the Man Up! final this year. But fortunately, this is because I’m shooting the whole Lipsync1000 hog! I wish all the kings the best, and I’m sure it’s going to be soooo much fun!

On the other hand, this means that this year’s pics are an uncoordinated mess. (But, if you’re Lyla Johnston, when are they not?) As per Sizzle’s request, the saturation was toned down even more for the last two heats, and it made sense to change up filters for Lipsync and beyond.

Part One

Warming us up was, as usual, Don One. They gave us a peppy performance of ‘This Is How We Do It’ and got everyone grooving along.

Violent May was our first king, and they did a burlesque number as yer typical chauvnist. Very fun to watch and giggle at. Also they had a rhinestone dildo!

Second up was Daddy and Friends, who is just one person. They did a parody song about being lesbian in today’s society, with one memorable line being about their disdain of Lucy and Yak dungarees. I love how the blue of their costume complimented the blue of the lights and the tinsel. Looked absolutely gorgeous in person.

Don One
Violent May

Then came the absolute genius of Brokeback Yorkshire. I was in a cowboy mood that day, and so was the rest of Queer London apparently. The idea is simple: two transmascs from Leeds go all Gyllenhaal and Ledger on each other, from sworn enemies to passionate lovers. Plus they both ooze sexual tension… (ps: both of them, luca and elliot, are currently raising money for their top surgeries, so donate if you can!)

Closing the first half was Milo Highclub. As Cabbage the Clown, they made it through to the Lipsync1000 final last year, and there’s no doubt that this act was final-worthy as well. Here’s hoping they come back for Lipsync this year… As for the act? Five words: Squid sex; so much fun. (Plus, I have to agree with him r.e. the fish from Fantasia…)

The blue of Daddy
The swoon-worthiness of Brokeback Yorkshire


The bestiality of Milo

Part Two

After Don One returned to do their signature song of sorts (‘(Something Inside) So Strong’ by Labi Siffre), opening Part Two was Man Up! veteran, Francis Lightningheart. Of course, being as much of a vocal Darkness stan as he is, I spoke to him about Masked. The community is still recovering from it, over two years on. Anyhoo, he stuck ‘I Wanna Be Your Slave’ in my head for about the next forever. Decent act, as well.

Then came Father JC. I keep on wanting to call him Sweet FA. I guess this is what Christianity is like, most likely in the C of E. Fun act, and if you’re making Sister Act references then you’ve immediately stolen my heart.

Don One


Father JC
Francis Lightningheart
Bootleg Dick
Hans Off

Bootleg Dick did the same act as last time, with a few changes (e.g. no ‘Short Dick Man’). They seemed even more swallowed up by the rest of the kings this time round, but then everything would be remedied when they started being slightly (accidentally?) handsy towards me during Sink the Pink later that week. We’ll talk about that later x

Closing the show was a familiar face – it’s only Hans Off, the minimal German drag king I saw at Hoopla! I screamed when I saw his name on the bil, then I screamed again when he said he liked my (totes Berghain-ready) jacket. He did pretty much the same thing he did in the birdcage, but did a different/better lipsync song at the end. ‘Let’s Have A Kiki’ is a bit cliché tbh…

Heat 7’s kings

With heats getting fuller, this heat seemed very tough to call. Even though it was eventually Daddy, Hans and Father JC who’d get to visit that robin’s egg blue dressing room in the Clapham Grand, I for one feel like Brokeback Yorkshire and Milo were robbed. Moral of the story: apply to an earlier heat, be prepared, do what you can etc.


Heat 8 + epilogue tomorrow.

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