Purple Angel Wing Heart

man up 2022: heat six

man up 2022: heat six

Truth tea: this would have been published earlier had I not had major writers block-of-sorts about making a vision board. Well, vision board’s all done now and today’s the day of the last heat, so expect three writeups this week before I prepare for both the final and (tentatively) Lipsync1000!

Anyhoo, this particular heat was horrible to shoot. I had horrible body aches and felt really faint. I think it was dehydration that didn’t feel like usual. Then add the fact that the kings took longer than usual to get ready and that technical difficulties made the show go out of whack…

Part One

After host Chiyo stripped off to Lil Nas X’s ‘Montero’, first to step up to the plate was another one of Velvet Caveat’s posse, Kylie Gender! However, this time, they were in the form of their male electrician alter ego, Magic Dyke. (Yes, they know how unoriginal the name is. I suggested Brody Gender to them…) It was a pretty standard strip act to ‘Danger, High Voltage’ by Electric Six, and you could tell how their pastiche of masculinity was reflected even in the most subtle of body language.

Next up was George Cockette, who decided to Next up was George Cockette, who decided to Next up was George Cockette, who decided to Next up was George Cockette, who decided to Next up was George Cockette, who decided to – oh, let’s have Chiyo talk about the size of Margo Marshall’s penis then we’ll have a 20-min break that’s supposed to be for sorting out the technical difficulties but it instead means you’ll shoot five performances in a row without any warning or refreshments…



Magic Dyke

Part Two

And, after those twenty minutes, I felt absolutely horrible. Anyway, onto George Cockette. For context, they’re your token international king that never seems to get to the final (the only exception I can recall is Magnus Love, and he deserved it!) They went from “hey girl” to heather-coloured airy fairy within the space of four minutes. They’re literally the drag equivalent of a French Fancy!

Then came Bootleg Dick. He came with a fair amount of polish. His act had him as a postperson (postie? post officer?) who got injected with Chemical X, stripped down to ‘Short Dick Man’ and spread the message of not gendering kids. There was also a ton of kids TV themes, including the Blue Peter theme in full, just because.

George Cockette
The end of Bootleg Dick’s performance


Rich Tea
Duke Box

The person who was supposed to be starting off Part Two was this heat’s returning act, BGD. Swapping Boris for Bruce Willis but looking a bit more Richard O’Brien, he launched missiles off the stage – including his torpedo of a penis – and appeared to read the Geneva Convention. There was also clever use of his teenage, obviously-faulty Motorola RAZR.

Speaking of “bald and powerful”, then came Rich Tea, another fan of my work and an even bigger fan of wrestling (he holds his own drag wrestling night!). As Jeff Bezos, he was greedy, ready to go to the moon, and literally ending it by showing his true colours as a Hulk-like monster.

Ending proceedings was Duke Box, the footy lad who joined everyone in a sing-song of ‘Total Eclipse’ after a pretty harsh dumping. Drinks were knocked over and that’s what absolutely made it. Super lovely person as well; we equally admired each other’s fashion sense. Outside of drag, he’s one of the founders of the Femme Collective (amplifying the voices of non-men in the music industry) and is Liv Wynter’s partner in crime as part of the DJ duo, Dance Moms. I’m not saying he’s this year’s Heathstiff but…

Heat 6’s kings

Straight after all those performances, I immediately had to set out for a pint of orange juice, which took about 20 years to get because queues. Chiyo told me that they’ve swapped their morning coffees for morning OJs, which makes it seem like a great decision.

Going through to the final were Duke Box and BGD. It was both a close heat and not a close heat at all that week, as there was nothing that was gob-smackingly spectacular as compared to other heats where it seems like someone reinvented the wheel then reinvented the rest of the car.

Heat 7 and 8 writeups coming this week as well, betwixt two freelance articles I need to do and a job application! Worker bee time x

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