Purple Angel Wing Heart

man up 2022: heat two

man up 2022: heat two

cw: continuation of last week’s assault-based story

OK, I promise that all four heats are going to be covered this week, but I’m just so laser-focused on this job interview (that’s probably happened by now) – plus I’ve got that, a doctor’s appointment AND Heat 4 all on the same day! I’m gonna be a busy bee. 🐝

Now, let’s talk Heat 2.

💖 💖 💖

Mads and co made sure the lighting was on point this heat, and also I got to clarify that I *do* deserve my own seat and drinks tickets, dahhhling! Chiyo was really happy not just to see me, but to get his photograph taken – they got the email from Sizzle saying “don’t forget to have your picture taken by Lyla!” and got giddy. Speaking of Sizzle, he came back from Mexico, didn’t mind my camera being that small (especially when it took pictures like, erm, that the week before) and actually called it “cule”. £949 well spent…

Part One

Chiyo lit up the Glory with a lipsync to Ricky Martin’s ‘She Bangs’, before proving himself to be a wonderfully boisterous host. He even managed to out-brash a surprisingly reserved Stav B, who was non-judging this heat alongside Xnthony.

Starting off the main bulk of the show was veteran performer Clay Taurus, who went from dysphoria-laden “little girl” to post-binary glitterball Titan. Soundtracked to ‘Silent Scream’ by Anna Blue, it was a similar premise to LX Electric’s legendary Lipsync1000 act, with a few more bells and whistles added that made it gorgeously intense. (Oh, and to get that hair? A heady mix of Crazy Colour and Directions UV yellows. I’m going UV pink soon, so watch this space…)

Next up was actor Steffi Nancy Walker’s fresh creation, Sweet F.A. Having lived under a rock for most of my 23-and-a-half years on this earth, it took me a few days to find out that Sweet F.A. meant “sweet fuck all”. Anyway, Sweet F. A. is a priest who loves and cherishes queer people, doing a bit of lyrically-influenced stand-up before proclaiming that “God Loves Queers” to Madonna’s seminal ‘Like a Prayer’.

Another first time king, Ryyder Bones self-awaredly bum-noted their way through Alice Cooper’s ‘Poison’, with portable wind machine in tow. At one point, they forgot their lines (but took it like a champ)! It was very Tom Cruise in Rock of Ages. Actually, nah, it was very Shayne Ward in Rock of Ages. Genderfuckery at its finest. x



Sweet F. A.
Clay Taurus


Ryyder Bones

Here’s a pic of Ryyder’s smaller-than-I-thought array of festival passes that they never bothered to take off because of their ADHD. It’s an interesting time capsule, with most of them being from over half a decade ago (one of them was Stockholm Pride 2015 and that’s all I remember).

Ryyder’s festival passes and other assorted adornments

Part Two

Chiyo couldn’t do a second performance due to injury, so it was straight onto self-proclaimed “stag king” Ishmael Gaze. One of two acts to use ‘Born to Be Wild’ in their set, we ended up all mooing like cows once the (vaguely unsettling, I guess because of his neo-futurist perspective) performance ended. Also he looks a fair amount like Christina Ricci out of drag.

Then came Texan Truck. “Born to Be Free” (instead of Wild – we love an “and everyone at Lipsync dressed up as cats!” moment!), he did an original song about manhood and freedom and liberty and all that. For four minutes, the Glory felt like a porch, possibly next to a stream, in the more rural parts of Texas. (And his hat lit up – we also love a crafty king!)

Finally, boy racer Spoiler Rotten got the entire audience on his side. A Ford fanatic, he stripped off, covered himself in petrol (i.e. black treacle) and rocked the slightly chauvinistic gearhead character all the way through. ‘Born to Be Wild’ also played, as well as some early-00s donkalicious techno that I need to know the name of because I want to travel back in time to 2003. He reminds me of John from my Level 1 Art class. (Lest I forget…)

Ishmael Gaze




Spoiler Rotten

With only one slot available (before Don One, who also told me that “you live and learn” after glorifying *that* man, announced there’d be three going through in Heat 3), it was uninanimous – Spoiler Rotten, welcome to the final!

You can even tell who won just via the groupshot.

If there was a second slot, I feel like either Adam (Sweet F. A.) or Ishmael would have gotten it, even if the latter will be an Oedipussi/FKA moment (i.e. use of the same song). For the former, there was still buzz around the “hot priest” post-elimination.

Clay could’ve also given it a shot, but I feel like there’s going to be a performance or two about transness that’ll eclipse both Clay’s and Powdered Sugar’s totally. From past contests, Benjamin Butch and LX Electric did some gorgeous takes on the subject way back when, Lucia Blayke complimented queer herstory with waterguns(!) and Wanda Whatever’s minimalistically non-binary Macarthur Park was an underrated gem. We need this energy, but even fresher.

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